We’ve all been there, standing in front of the urinal
with your dork in your hand and no friggin urine.
This is called “Urinal Stage Fright” or “Urinal
Anxiety”, a common problem among men of all ages.
The most widely used reaction is to spit in the urinal
and act natural.
This is wrong. Every guy knows that spitting only means
that you are having a problem peeing.
The answer lies within the problem; your mind.
Provided you’re a somewhat healthy male and your
prostrate is not the size of a grapefruit, you should be able to pass water
under your minds command.
Often times urinal anxiety is caused by the mind
showing some ounce of shyness. Yes, I know the guy who just hot on 5 chicks and
slugged 5 beers is anything but timid, and this is why the mind panics with fear
when the golden flow does not run like the rivers of the Styx.
If you find yourself standing at the urinal next to
some lummox and there’s no stream follow these simple instructions:
1. Remain calm. This happens to everyone. Even the idiot next to you.
2. Let your eyes relax on a crack in the wall or some graffiti.
3. Finally, begin to multiply numbers. Any numbers you wish.
Your brain separates thoughts in to items of priority. By
creating simple math equations and forcing your mind to resolve the problems, it
distracts the brain from the anxiety of relieving ones self in the presence of
others.
Soon you will be peeing like a monkey at the zoo with
hundreds of dumb humans watching.
